Two Hundred
by jhplug
Summary: Emily reached out to grab his arm, stopping him from any further progress. "Derek, is that what you really want?" "What I wanted was never a question, Emily."
1. Chapter 1

**_Hello! I know it has been a REALLY long time since I have updated anything on this site. Real life has taken over in a major way - new job combined with a husband who has had two hospital stays in the past year (but much healthier now) and two young kids who are very cute but very demanding have not left a lot of time for writing. _**

**_I am still working on "The Lies That Bind" - I've had a serious case of writers nap block with that one but I know where I want it to go and I'm committed to finishing it. But in the meantime, here's a new one - it started as a one-shot to "200" but will now be at least two chapters. We'll see. I'd love to hear what you think! _**

**Chapter One**

"How long do we have you?" Hotch asked the question but no one really wanted to know the answer, knowing that however long she said, it wouldn't be long enough.

She glanced at her watch. "Six hours." Morgan squeezed his eyes closed, wishing time would just stop. He was incredibly grateful that they had JJ back. That she had come back to help save JJ. But he wanted more time. From the time that she landed in D.C., it had been go go go. Trying to rescue JJ and Cruz. One part of him wanted to know exactly what she had known about JJ's situation and how she had known it. The other part didn't care...he just wanted her.

"I'm so glad I finally got to meet you. I've heard such amazing things."

She laughed nervously, glancing first at Alex, and then at her old team, catching his eye for a brief second, before looking away. "All lies." The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about it and she cringed. Unfortunately it wasn't far from the truth. Half of it was lies.

Penelope hadn't let go of her hand since they had rescued JJ and squeezed it in a show of support. Emily glanced over at her and smiled, almost guiltily. Knowing that if she never had lied to her friends...her family...she'd probably still be here with them. She loved London. She really did. But she had lied about her past and this was the result. She was done apologizing for it ... If she had to do it over again, she still wouldn't have put them in danger.

Hotch glanced at his watch, hating to be the first one to leave and not wanting to leave Emily just yet but he knew Jack was waiting for him at home. As much as he missed his friend, life still went on. Plus, he could tell another member of the group was itching at getting their former colleague alone. And it wasn't Penelope.

"I'm going to get going," he announced, glancing over towards JJ. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Thanks, Hotch," she replied, a yawn escaping at the same time. She looked over at her husband. "I"m ready too. I'm exhausted and I want to snuggle in bed with my boys."

"You guys are a bunch of party poopers," Penelope huffed. "But I'll forgive you just this once."

Hotch pulled Emily into his arms for a quick hug goodbye. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear. "I really appreciate what you did for JJ."

She smiled in return as she pulled back, her hands resting on his forearms. "No where else in would have been. You and JJ gave up so much for me. There was no way I could stay put and not do anything I could to help find her."

"Don't be a stranger," he told her, squeezing her hand before he walked away.

JJ and Will appeared in front of her then, both wanting to express their heartfelt gratitude for the role Emily played in saving JJ. Will hugged her tightly. "That's twice now," he whispered. "I hope you are never in a situation where I have to repay the favor but you know I'll be there in a heartbeat."

Emily smiled. "I love you both. I was only doing what JJ would have, and has, done if the situation were reversed. Take care of her."

"Of course," Will replied.

She turned and pulled JJ into a fierce hug. "I love you. Don't you forget that."

JJ had tears in her eyes. "Never. Please don't be a stranger."

"I won't," Emily wiped at her own eyes. "Come visit me soon. Please?!"

JJ and Will both laughed as they turned to leave. They were followed a short time later by Alex and Dave, leaving Emily with Penelope, Reid and Morgan. Penelope could sense that Morgan was getting antsy. Emily's remaining time in DC was winding down and she knew that her Chocolate Thunder did not want to spend his remaining time with her kick-ass friend in a noisy bar. Although she was hoping that this time they would make the most of what little time they had together rather than hurling at denials and hurtful accusations at one another until their something-more-than-friends relationship imploded.

* * *

_Penelope could sense the fact that her two best friends needed some time alone before she and Derek had to be at the airport. The last two weeks had been a whirlwind but she couldn't help but feel incredibly happy for the two of them. As much as she and Derek loved to flirt with each other, it was always intentionally over the top because they knew they were friends. The best of friends but friends just the same. What Derek felt for Emily though? That had always been a different story. Penelope had noticed it not long after Emily had joined the BAU. She had brought out her chocolate stud's inner nerd. They way he flirted with Emily was way different than how he did with Penelope. It was subtle but even Reid could see what was behind it. The fact that they held out as long as they did always baffled her. How Emily could keep herself from those rock-hard abs, Penelope couldn't even fathom. _

_When Emily had returned from Paris, the way Derek had looked at her, Penelope thought it was just a matter of time before they would finally get their act together. The shocked expression on his face when Emily walked through the door broke her heart and it was obvious to everyone in the room that his feelings for the brunette ran deep. Only Penelope had known just how devastated Derek was after Emily "died". How much he blamed himself for not finding her in time to save her. How he couldn't sleep at night without seeing that final image of her, bloodied and broken and clinging to life as she begged him to let her go. A never ending nightmare that he lived through over and over for seven hellish months._

_Penelope finished her tea and dropped the empty cup in the trash before picking up the magazines she had purchased for the long flight home. Glancing at her watch, she knew she had to start getting back so they could head for the airport. She hoped she had given her two friends enough time to say a "proper" goodbye. She chuckled to herself. She could only imagine that first night they were together - the release of six years of built up sexual tension had to cause some fireworks. For her own sake, she was glad she had decided to take her time coming home from the bar that night. Shaking her head at her own thoughts she hesitated momentarily outside of the door to Emily's apartment-"flat," she thought to herself - but the sounds she heard coming from inside the apartment were not the "goodbye" she expected to hear._

_The couple froze as the door opened, staring at her in shock. Clearly they had not expected her to return so quickly. "Am I interrupting something?" Garcia asked, glancing back and forth between the two of them. Derek was red-faced and looked like it was taking all of his restraint not to put his fist through Emily's wall. Emily had been crying, of that Garcia was sure, but she quickly wiped at her eyes, eliminating any evidence of her tears. "Guys..."_

_"I think it's time to leave for the airport," Emily interrupted before Penelope had a chance to ask what was wrong. She smoothed her skirt down with her hands and picked up her phone, keys and purse, avoiding eye contact with both of them the whole time. "Your flight is in a couple of hours and it's going to take a while to get through security."_

_Penelope glanced over at Derek, clearly waiting for some sign that he wanted to finish whatever he and Emily had been arguing about before she had interrupted. But instead he sighed, clearly dejected and resigned to the fact that whatever they had been discussing had not gone his way, and replied, "Yeah we should get going. You need help with your bags, Babygirl?" She nodded, dumbfounded, but kept her eyes on him as he began to move past her towards Emily's spare bedroom. She could have sworn that he was fighting tears._

_She watched as Emily and Derek hugged goodbye at the airport. On one hand, the hug they shared seemed incredibly awkward. On the other hand, even as awkward as it seemed, it was also as if neither wanted to let go. Her own heart broke for them. Here were two people, two of her best friends, that clearly were in love but both were so incredibly guarded that even when they finally seemed to be on the right track, their own stubbornness, and unbelievable ability to not let themselves be happy, got in the way. _

_Turning her head away from the window as the city of London faded away below them, Penelope finally got a look at her hunky best friend. "What's going on, Derek? It's obvious something happened while I was out earlier. Talk to me, sweetie."_

_Derek sighed, dejected. "It's nothing, Babygirl. I really don't want to talk about it right now. I just want to close my eyes and sleep the whole way home."_

_She placed her hand over top of his, squeezing lightly. "You know I love you, right?" Derek nodded. "And because I love you I'm going to give you some advice and you're going to listen to it." He tried to protest but she held her hand up, effectively silencing him. "You and Emily feel far too strongly about one another and have been through way too much together to let something silly like an ocean get between you. And you're both so damn guarded that neither of you will actually admit the fact that you're head over heels in love with one another. But even if you never do, and even if the past two weeks is the furthest a relationship between the two of you would ever go, don't let it ruin your friendship. Don't look back at this moment and regret the fact that this was how you left things."_

* * *

"Well my pretties," Penelope began, making a show of yawning and glancing at her watch. "As much as I want to stay and play with you all night, I need my beauty sleep before life returns to normal tomorrow. Hey Genuis...want to share a cab? You're not far from my apartment and you know how much I hate to go home by myself at night. This job has ensured that I never go anywhere alone when anyone can be lurking in the shadows."

Derek rolled his eyes, seeing right through her. "You don't need to leave, Babygirl." He tried to sound sincere but he wasn't sure she bought it.

She didn't. "I'm tired, my big strong man. And while I would normally have you serve as my own personal hunky bodyguard, someone has to get my gorgeous pseudo-sister here to her fancy private plane in a few hours." Penelope turned to Reid. "So whaddya say, hot stuff?"

Reid nodded as Penelope wrapped her arms around Emily. "You will call me as soon as you land in merry old England. I love you and miss you all the time. You know you always have a place to stay when you come visit. Although I suspect you may not need one."

Emily rolled her eyes, chuckling. "I know PG. I love you too."

Reid said his goodbyes as well before following Penelope out the front door of the establishment they frequented after work, leaving Derek and Emily awkwardly sitting at the bar by themselves. "Do you want another one?" Derek asked, nodding to her watered down vodka tonic.

Emily shook her head as she pushed the drink away. "No. I don't even know why I ordered that one, I'm done."

Derek signaled to the bartender, indicating he wanted to close out the tab. Emily fidgeted nervously. She still had four hours before she needed to be at the airfield but didn't have a clue where she and Derek stood in order to know what they would do once they left the bar.

Derek finished signing his name to the credit card slip and sneaked a glance over at Emily. She was scrolling through something on her phone as she waited for him to finish up. He wondered what was going through her mind right now. Did she feel as awkward as he did? The last time they had been in the same room together, eighteen months earlier, he felt the same way. And it hadn't gone well. They had spent two amazing weeks together but it all had come crashing down the day he and Penelope were due to leave London after the Olympics and their temporary duty assignment had ended. Penelope had tried to talk to him on the flight home about what she had walked in on right before Emily had driven them to the airport, as well as multiple times since then, but he wouldn't reveal what had transpired when she had left them alone in Emily's apartment to run an errand. And she could only watch helplessly as six years of friendship and something more had come crashing down. Penelope was the only one who had any idea how he had felt about his raven-haired former partner. Although working with a team of profilers, it was possible they all did and Hotch had set off a coordinated effort to get the two of them alone tonight.

He slowly pocketed his credit card, turning to her while she pocketed her phone. "Everything okay?"

Emily nodded. "Just the pilot, wanting to let me know we aren't cleared for take-off until morning. Fog or something. I guess I'll need to find a hotel for the night."

"You know you don't need to do that," he told her as he led her towards the exit. They stepped outside into the unseasonably mild February night. Not warm by any means but not too cold that they could walk for a bit and enjoy the fresh air. And apparently warm enough that the freezing rain from earlier had turned to a light rain with a dense fog settling over the city, and causing all flights out of the city, including private ones, to be grounded until morning.

"I have to sleep somewhere Derek. I now have at least another twelve hours to kill," she informed him.

"You know you can stay with me," he pointed out, nodding his head towards the direction they needed to walk to get to his house.

Emily reached out to grab his arm, stopping him from any further progress. "Derek, is that what you really want?"

"What I wanted was never a question, Emily."

_To be continued..._

* * *

**_So what do you think? Should I continue? Is anything ever easy for these two? I woukd love to hear your feedback. Reviews make me smile! _**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter! This one is turning out to be a bit longer than I had anticipated. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Two**

"That's not fair," she retorted. "You can't put this on me. We were both there that day. We both said some things..." She trailed off, the pain of what had happened on his last day in London seizing her heart. She remembered how she felt when she dropped them off at Heathrow. She had tried to put on a brave face when the woman who she had thought of as a sister hugged her and then walked towards security, waiting for Derek to say goodbye. Emily had turned towards him and the pain in his eyes after the argument they had at her apartment just an hour earlier cut through her like a knife. Had she been unfair? Probably. But what did he expect? Her life was in London now and his was in DC. It never would have worked.

"I don't want to fight with you, Em," he pleaded as they walked down the not-so-busy city street. It wasn't late by any means but the weather was keeping people inside for the most part. "Let's just get home. I had Anderson drop your stuff off earlier. "

She cocked an eyebrow in his direction. "Knowing our friends, I assumed they all would have worked it out so I had to take you to the airport," he explained before she had a chance to question the obvious presumption. "They may be a bunch of profilers, but they're incredibly transparent."

Emily laughed as they walked in not-quite-comfortable silence the rest of the way. Their argument replayed itself, as it had done for months, in her mind the whole way to his house. They had finally reached his home and a rush of memories of her last time at this house had flooded her thoughts. She had missed him. She missed talking to him. They were friends first but over the last eighteen months the relationship had been strained. They had spoken but the tension was always apparent and the conversation surface level. Derek didn't want to get into it, the rejection he had felt when he boarded the return flight from London still fresh in his mind. Emily didn't want to rehash it either, the look in his eyes as she let him down maybe not-so-gently right before they left her apartment still seared in her memory.

* * *

_Derek watched as the door gently closed behind Penelope, leaving just he and Emily in the quiet apartment. He slowly turned around, dreading the goodbye that they would soon say. Emily was sitting in one corner of the couch, her legs tucked underneath of her. She hadn't said much since that morning, and he could already feel her pulling away from him._

_"What are you thinking?" He asked her, sitting down on the couch next to her._

_Emily shook her head, a fake smile gracing her features. "Nothing. Just how incredibly transparent Garcia can be sometimes." _

_Derek laughed. "She's a good friend, Em. She could tell we needed a few minutes to ourselves."_

_They sat in silence for a few minutes and Derek just watched her. She was schooling her expression but it didn't take profiling skills to see how hard she was trying to hold in tears. He reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to him. "Come on, Em. Talk to me."_

_A tear slipped down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "I don't even know why I'm crying. I've known this day was coming since the second you two stepped off the plane."_

_"So that's why you jumped my bones the next night?" He joked and then quickly ducked out of the way as she swatted at him, hitting his arm. _

_"That's not quite how I remember it, buddy," Emily smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. "And that's not what I meant - I'm just going to miss you guys being here. Both of you."_

_Derek leaned in, pressing his nose into her hair and inhaling deeply. The smell of her shampoo reached his senses and he was assaulted with memories: The hug they shared minutes after the explosion at a compound in Colorado, after she and Reid and spent had been held hostage by Benjamin Cyrus; Being a shoulder for her to cry on when she broke down in the hours after Haley Hotchner was murdered; the shock he felt in the minutes after she had walked in to the conference room - praying that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him after seven months of believing he had lost her forever; the pang of loss he felt already as her cheek pressed against his while they slowly swayed to the music, surrounded by family and friends at JJ and Will's wedding but knowing that she would no longer be by his side every day._

_"I don't want you to go," she whispered and he could feel the wetness of her tears hitting his shoulder. _

_"I don't want to go either," he replied just as quietly, placing a kiss against her temple. _

_She turned her face up towards his and he captured her lips with his own. Derek leaned towards back, pulling her on top of him as he lay down on the couch. Her kisses moved from his mouth towards his jawline, causing Derek to moan lightly. He felt her tongue on his earlobe and he shivered, wanting nothing more than to make love to her right there on her couch. But more than anything he wanted to know where her head was...where her heart was...and where they were going to go from there._

_"Em," he whispered as her hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and she raked her nails lightly over his rock hard abs. He bit back another groan as his hands grabbed her shoulders and he pushed her away, enough so he could look her in the eye. "Baby, as much as I would love nothing more than to finish what you've started, Penelope is probably going to be back any minute and we still need to talk."_

_She rolled her eyes, sitting back on the couch but still holding his hands in hers. "Garcia knows exactly what's probably going on here. She's not rushing back. And what else do we need to talk about, Derek. We've only got a little bit of time left. I don't want to waste it on talking." She cringed at how blasé she sounded. She was trying to sound casual, like him leaving today wasn't actually killing her inside. _

_"Come on," he pulled her close again, laying back and pulling her with him so she lay against him, his hand resting against her rib cage and hers laying over his heart. Derek broke the comfortable silence a few minutes later: "When are you coming home, Em?" _

_"I've barely even been here, Morgan," she laughed. "I think I need to at least give Easter a few weeks of my time before I hop on a plane back to DC." _

_"I miss you," he said sincerely. _

_Her eyes softened. "I know, Derek. I miss you too. All of you."_

_Derek didn't miss how she qualified the statement, lumping him in with the rest of the team. He didn't doubt her love for the team...for her family...but after the past two weeks and everything that had happened between them, he could tell that she was pulling away from him. And he didn't like it. "I know what you're doing."_

_Emily shifted uncomfortably but he tightened his grip around her, not allowing her to pull away like he could tell she was trying to. Both literally and figuratively. She fought his grip and pushed back enough to look him in the eye. "What am I doing, Derek?"_

_He tried to remain nonchalant but fear was seizing his heart because he knew her. He was a profiler, yes, but he didn't need to be one in order to pick up on the fact that she was trying to distance herself from him in a way to protect her heart. She'd been doing it for years but now it bothered him more because he was actually invested. He wanted her to know she didn't need to put up walls with him. He would never hurt her. "You're acting like the past few weeks didn't happen. Like it meant nothing."_

_Emily pushed away from him, angrily. "Don't you dare!" She stood up and walked over to the big picture window in her flat, the London skyline before her, illuminated by the early afternoon sun. The city was still buzzing from the excitement of the Games, even after the Closing Ceremonies the night before. It was Monday but she had given her team the day off, knowing everyone could use some time to recuperate after the craziness of the last several weeks. _

_She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to spill, as Derek wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He pulled her back against his chest, placing a kiss on her temple before resting his chin on her shoulder. "That's not fair, Derek," she claimed, softly. "I'm not pretending at all. I'm trying to figure out where to go from here, knowing that in a couple of hours you're going to get on a plane and fly across the Atlantic and I have no idea when I'll see you again. I'm trying to do what's best." _

_"Best for who, Em?" She could hear the hurt in his voice and it was enough to cause the threatening tears to spill down her cheeks. "Because I don't understand after everything that's happened since I've been here...after everything we've been through over the past two years...that you can honestly stand here and tell me that pushing me away and pretending that nothing happened is the best thing for both of us. I..." _

_"Please don't," she pleaded softly, interrupting him, knowing what he was going to say before he said it._

_"I love you, Emily," What surprised him most about the admission was the ease in which it came out and the relief he felt once he admitted it out loud. _

_"Derek..." She turned around, the surprise...and, what he wished he hadn't seen, the unmistakeable fear, clearly written on her face. _

_"I don't expect you to say it back," he admitted, truthfully. "But I want you to know how I feel. I do...I love you. I think I have for a long time." _

_Emily pushed on his chest, trying to push him away but he wrapped his arms around her trapping her in place. "That's not fair, Derek. You can't drop this on me two hours before you go home because you're afraid of what's going to happen as soon as you leave. You can't make crazy declarations like that just so you can stake your claim."_

_Derek didn't react fast enough to school his features against the hurt he felt at her words. He knew she felt the same way about him whether she actually admitted it or not. He could tell from the first night that they were together. To listen to her twist his words in such an ugly way made him want to grab her and shake her and demand to know why she does this to herself all the time. Why she would do it to him. "Really Emily?"_

_She cringed, the pain her words had caused clearly evident in his voice. She wanted to reach for him at that point but the damage had been done. And maybe it was for the best. When they began the conversation, her intention was not to hurt him. There was no easy solution to the situation they had put themselves in. Either they give in, admit how they both felt, and spend God knows how long trying to make a long distance relationship work before it inevitably imploded. Or keep it light and casual, ignoring how they both felt. Pretend that they were just friends while they both tried to move on separately, knowing that they had spent two amazing weeks together but that was all it could ever be. She made a choice, one that would hurt at first, but he would get over it. They both would. He'd get on a plane, go back to his life in DC, meet someone new, and eventually what happened between them would be a distant memory. They could remain friends without the pressure from themselves and their friends to make a long-distance relationship work. _

_"You know I'm right, Derek," she spat, her tone betraying the pain she felt at how much she was hurting him. "It's not worth it. It'll never work - I don't know when or even IF I'm coming back to the States and it's not like you're going to pick up and move to London at some point. If you would just stop and think about it for a second, you'll realize that this is for the best."_

_In his entire life, Derek never imagined himself in this position. Standing in front of a woman, fighting tears and all but begging her to give them a chance. But he didn't care. He also never thought he'd feel about any woman the way he feels about Emily. "You can't possibly believe that. I know you feel it too, Em. You can stand there and try to piss me off as much as you want but you can't pretend it's not real. I love you, Em. Don't do this. Please."_

_"It's for the best," she whispered, but it sounded like a lie, even to herself. She watched his eyes darken with anger and for a second wondered if she had pushed him too far, afraid that he might put a fist through her living room wall. But a second later, the front door to her apartment opened and Penelope froze in the doorway, obviously realizing that she had interrupted something. It was clear this was not what she was expecting to walk in on. _

_"Am I interrupting something?" Garcia asked, glancing back and forth between the two of them while Emily wiped at her eyes, trying to pretend she wasn't just crying. "Guys..." _

_Emily interrupted at that point, announcing that they needed to leave for the airport, and ignored the crushed look on Derek's face. Forty five minutes later, they were standing outside of security at Heathrow Airport, getting ready to say yet another goodbye. Derek wrapped his arms around Emily, and both of them felt the tension and awkwardness that hadn't been there until now. "Love you," Derek breathed but quickly turned around, not giving her a chance to say anything before he grabbed his carry-on and walked towards security, not once looking back. _

* * *

Derek closed the door to his house, making sure everything was locked,while Emily slipped her jacket off and hung it on the hook next to the front door. She glanced around, thinking about all of the times she had spent in this home, with this many and how much things had changed since the last time she had been here.

"Are you sure it's okay that I stay here?" She asked again as they walked into the kitchen, Derek flipping on the lights as they entered.

"Yes, Emily," he replied, a little exasperated after having to reassure her for the fifth time.

"Sorry," she apologized, sheepishly. "I just...I know the last time...how we left things..." She trailed off at the look that darkened his features at the mention of what happened on the day that he and Garcia left London.

Derek snorted, a little annoyed at her use of the word 'we.' "How we left things, Em? If I recall correctly, it was you making decisions for both of us."

She sighed. "I don't want to fight, Derek," she said again, turning around and facing the window. No matter how much she tried she couldn't get that day out of her mind. It had haunted her for the last eighteen months, the accusations she threw at him, the look on his face as she destroyed not only any chance of happiness for the two of them but their friendship as well. She just wanted to forget it all and go back to the way things were. "I don't have much time here. Can we just not do this?"

Sitting in the stool at the island in the center of his kitchen, he stared at her back. Try as he might, he couldn't just forget it. It had taken him a lot to get where he was today and he thought he was past it - no longer angry with her for that day. But when he saw her for the first time again, the pain and hurt she had caused him came rushing back. And he couldn't just ignore that. "I don't want to fight with you, Emily."

She turned around to face him. "So don't."

Any retort died on his lips at the hopeful look on her face. He sighed, realizing she was right. They didn't have much time together before she had to leave. He didn't want to spend it rehashing the past. "Okay." Her face lit up and he knew he had made the right decision.

An hour later they were sitting on the couch, laughing as Derek filled her in on everything she had missed over the past year and a half. While she loved her new job, she missed her family at the BAU immensely. At the time, she knew she couldn't stay - the death and destruction she saw everyday becoming unbearable, especially in the wake of faking her own death and lying to her family. But the stories he was sharing with her now, the little bright spots in a job filled with darkness, these were the things she missed the most.

"Oh I would have to loved to have seen that," she chuckled, in response to one of the stories about his and Reid's ongoing prank war. "Good for Reid. He needs a win against you every once I a while."

"Hey!" He nudged her shoulder in jest. Emily nudged back as her laugh quickly turned into a yawn. She reached to cover her mouth, in an attempt to hide her exhaustion from him. "Tired?" Derek asked, tilting his head to the side.

"A little," she admitted, sheepishly. "But I like hearing it. I miss you guys." She glanced down as she let her hand fall down to her lap. After a beat of silence, she lifted her head to look at him. "I miss this."

Derek stared at her, contemplating his response for a minute. He went with the truth. "Me too." His brain was pleading with him to look away - to not get sucked in again. But his heart urging him to pull her into his arms and never let go. He settled for taking her hand in his, his thumb sweeping back and forth over her knuckles. She squeezed his fingers in response, as they stared at each other in response.

"Derek..."

"Em..."

They both laughed. "You first," he insisted, tugging lightly on her hand.

Emily sat silently for a minute, contemplating exactly what she wanted to say. She didn't want to hurt him again but the more time she spent with him tonight, the more unsure she was about what she thought was right. About what she really wanted.

* * *

**Well...this one just wants to keep going! Not quite there yet so expect at least one more chapter. Would love to hear your thoughts. As much as I love Emily, I think she's having some trouble figuring out exactly what she wants! Please feel free to drop me a review and let me know what you think!**


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